It seems that once again, I have been absent for way too long. I have just not felt inspired to write here. I look back through this funny little blog, and it seems so much has changed. I will forever be grateful for everything this little space has brought me...beautiful friendships, a place to share and inspire, and an incentive to be creative.
I have been so busy in my new life as a yoga teacher...a whole new world has opened up its doors to me, and it seems that I have fully immersed myself in this exciting new world. Teaching is very rewarding, but also it is hard work. I am passionate about sharing all that I have learned through my yoga practice, and so there is also much learning and personal growth to be had.
These past couple of weeks have seen me floored with this awful flu. I have had no choice but to not just slow down, but completely stop and do NOTHING! If nothing else, I have learned to honour the wisdom of my own body, and the messages it holds.
This winter has hit me quite hard, and I have had some old wounds reopened, which forced me to look within, yet again, at what I needed to heal. I'm pretty sure this flu was the universe's way of getting me to just stop and begin that journey inwards again...more healing, more growth.
And, along with feeling unwell physically, are the feelings of depression which inevitably set in, so these past few days I have been feeling really sorry for myself (it's ok, it won't last), and I am reminded to just BE with those feelings, without trying to shove them aside. So I have allowed myself to watch sad movies and to read sad articles, because I need to really FEEL what I'm feeling, so I can exhaust those feelings then move on (rather than pushing them down so they manifest as physical or mental illness later on).
It's funny the old self-awareness which I now cultivate. That I can observe when I am responding and reacting a certain way. I'm not saying it makes the feelings any less difficult, but it certainly allows me to acknowledge that "They too shall pass".
So I guess this post is about honouring your feelings - all of them - the good, the bad and the ugly. Because no matter what we may think, EVERYONE has all of these emotions - that's what makes us human.
And from the depths of my despair, a bright spark of light, a burst of creativity which has eluded me for some time...a poem, written feverishly without thought. It flowed from my pen in under 2 minutes, so I include it here, unedited...
She was not one to follow the crowd
She preferred instead to explore the intricacies of
her soul
It beckoned her within
Tantalising her with it's sweet repose.
A quiet, calm oasis to rest her weary self
When life had battered and bruised her
And caused her to retreat into her shell
It was safe there.
No-one to please but herself
Here she licked her wounds
and healed her scars, so that they wouldn't show
She clung to uncertainty
It kept her afloat in a sea of doubt.
Tina Gates
Can you believe this is the beautiful space I get to teach yoga in - I am truly blessed x
